Perinatal Therapy

I work with women, men, genderfluid and non-binary individuals, and couples who are considering parenthood, are trying to conceive, are expecting, and who are parenting. Together we can address the complex emotional experiences of preconception, pregnancy, and parenthood and offer support for a more fulfilled experience.

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Maybe you are:

Considering Parenthood

you might be considering weaning off of birth control of adjusting other medications such as your ADHD, depression or bipolar meds.
you feel ambivalent about adding initial or additional children to your family
you struggle with the pressure of conforming to social pressures of having a baby or biological pressures
you want to explore the impact of generational trauma on your sense of readiness
You might tell yourself "I must fulfill my family's expectations before considering my own desires", "my mental health challenges might make me feel inadequate as a parent" or "I am not sure I will be a suitable parent"

Trying To Conceive

You decided to go on the adventures of trying to conceive. You might have had miscarriages or a history of ectopic pregnancies in the past, so you are unsure of how your body might respond this time around.
You may be trying to conceive via IUI, IVF or naturally, but either way, you are open to what might come.
You are experiencing a roller coaster of emotions as you are in this window. Sometimes it can feel stressful or uncertain. Sometimes exciting
Some messages you might tell yourself are:"my body's inability or ability to conceive reflects my inadequacy/adequacy as a person"or "I can't prioritize my own well being without feeling guilty." or "I am destined to repeat the patterns of pain from my family's

Expectant Parents

This stage could bring a mix of worry, joy and anticipation.
Balancing family expectations with your personal choices during pregnancy can be especially challenging, especially if your elders live close by and have rigid ideas about what health measures you should be taking during this season
you might be coping with more feelings of worry while trying to address your past trauma
While preparing for parenthood, you might have a stronger desire to develop a deeper understanding of your family's history
Some messages you might tell yourself are: "I must conform to my family's expectations and listen to their unsolicited advice, even if it goes against my intuition.", "I am so tired, but feel so guilty for resting," "I am unsure if I can provide a nurturing environment for my future child because of my unresol

Parenting Children

In this stage, you might be struggling with wanting to provide a different experience than you had with your own upbringing.
You want to cultivate emotional regulation and mindfulness for yourself and your child, but unsure of how to do so
you want to navigate honoring your heritage, while cultivating your child's unique identity
Messages that you might be telling yourself are: "Ill never be able to overcome my childhood wounds," "I am so scared of messing up my kid", "Sometimes I wish I didn't have a kid," or "I'm destined to be like my mother/father, no matter how hard I try"

This is Me

Worry and Anxiety Around This Period Can Affect Your Self Esteem

You might doubt yourself
You might find yourself competing or comparing yourself to others
You might blame yourself
You might think you're a "bad" person
It can reduce your confidence
You might find yourself irritable at everything, even your child
You might find yourself short tempered
You might not enjoy things that you used to enjoy
You might catastrophize and expect the worst to happen
You might be losing hope with things returning "back to normal"
You might not find it easy to ask for help
You might have racing thoughts
You might find it difficult to fall asleep when you are tired
You might have panic symptoms

I say this

What is the root issue?

Unresolved attachment wounds, the unaddressed impact of systemic and intergenerational trauma, white body supremacy, complex trauma all play a part in the development and exacerbation of perinatal anxiety and depression. Other factors that play a big role are: hormonal changes, genetic predisposition, personal history of anxiety/depression/trauma, stress and life changes, tendency towards perfectionism and expectations, relationship changes, lack of social support, traumatic birth experiences, cultural pressures and body image concerns all influence the length and intensity of symptoms.

The perinatal period can last up to 7 years after your child is born, since the adjustments with adding new family members can be so huge.

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Common Symptoms of Perinatal Anxiety/Depression

Excessive worry and concerns

You worry about whether or not the baby is too cold, too warm, whether or not they are breathing, sleeping or eating enough. For parents of older children, you might worry about their homework, whether or not they are being mistreated or mistreating others. This isn't only a passing thought, but occupies your mind most of the day and it feels hard to think or notice other things.

Therapy Can Help

Emotional regulation for professional and parental success- IFS provides a roadmap to help you regulate intense emotions, which also helps cultivate emotional resilience. Traditional talk therapy provides you with a therapist that encourages you to simply "be empathetic", but IFS provides a way to actually do it.
Manage overwhelming stress and create empowered boundaries- Juggling being a working professional and being a parent can be a LOT sometimes. IFS therapy can be used to help manage the rest and work with your parts to create respectful boundaries.
Resolving parental fears- "what if I'm not a good enough parent?" "what if I totally screw up my kids?" Working with internal parts that hold onto worries/doubles so you can have clarity and confidence
Transforming self criticism- IFS therapy helps transform critical parts into compassionate allies. This will have a huge ripple effect with your parenting and your influence over your kids. You will learn to exercise leadership in your household with compassionate curiosity, instead of authoritative dominance.
Generational healing- IFS allows folx to address intergenerational trauma, breaking cycles of negative patterns that connect you and your ancestors.

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Frequently Asked Questions:

I believe change is possible, but I don't believe that change is possible for ME. How can you help me?

We will work together to make sure you're feeling safe. If safety and trust isn't present, change cannot occur. What do I use to cultivate safety:

providing educational tid bits about what is happening and how to heal
building a strong relationship with you
giving you as much heads up as possible so you're not surprised by much
operating with as much consent and permission as possible
not treating you like you're someone who is broken and needs to be fixed
focusing on your strengths
cultivating hope
showing you compassion, when you may not have much compassion for yourself.