ANGELA TAM, LMHC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Licensure Supervisor for Associates
I help people:
support others without doing things for them
create less frequent interactions from toxic people in their lives
not give beyond their budgeted time, energy or finances
honoring their commitment to themselves about what they will and will not tolerate in relationships
Our approach is different than rationalizing/repressing our "bad" feelings away because it is a holistic movement that takes into consideration your mind and body. We recognize that if we were to create a life that you love, it would require a daily commitment to small, sustainable actions that lead to lasting change.
My main area of work lies in these three areas: Awareness of the immigrant parent wound. Grief and acceptance of your family, and reparenting yourself so you can give yourself what you didn't get growing up.
MAIN FOCUS: INNER REPARENTING
1) Objective #1-"Awareness of the Immigrant Tiger Parent Wound"-
You will learn about the ways that your Immigrant Tiger Parent's beliefs, values and worldviews influenced the building blocks of your life. We will examine the cultural barriers that held you back from healing the Tiger Parent Wound. Then we will identify the space between what you needed and what you actually received from your parents. Ultimately, this module's goals are not to blame your Asian Immigrant parents for their wrong doings, but to see how systemic oppression played out in the household through their specific parenting styles. It is very important to see that your parents' were not bad people, but a product of their environment and also, important to recognize the pain that they caused. In ignoring the awareness of pain, you will continue to project the pain unto others and yourself through the denial.
2) Objective #2- "Grief and Acceptance"
The main goal of this section is to grieve and accept that your parents will never be the parents that you have always hoped that they would be. In doing so, you will acknowledge that childhood coping strategies were helpful to you as a child, but don't serve you as an adult moving through your marriage, parenting, and modern day careers. Feeling the pain of the loss of healthy parents, helps us to become liberated from our parents in order to live our lives to our full potential. Ultimately, we are grieving the impact of systemic oppression in our lives through the wounding of our parents and their rigid and harsh parenting style.
3) Objective #3- "Reparenting Our Inner Child"-
Your adult self is able to separate the past from the present in a very clear way. Your adult self is able to concretely describe how the present is very different and that you have tools and resources that you didn't as a child. Your adult self can show up for you in a way that no caregiver could in the past: by validating you, protecting you, holding others accountable, drawing/enforcing boundaries and speaking the truth. Ultimately, you are the only person that is responsible for the past, present and future versions of you. We parent our inner child by making new choices that we couldn't make in the past. In some ways, we are already experts with being a healthy parent because we've been tasked with parenting our parents from a very young age. This phase will allow you to give yourself a new task: to turn the job inward in order to be the best parent you can be for yourself. To be the parent you never had for yourself.
We will discuss the main pillars for healthy inner parenting and how you can practically grow and take action steps.
This is for....
Asian Folx who do NOT want the therapist to just be a passive listener, but empathetically teach clients skills to connect you back to your body, to find safety in yourself, to cultivate inner security, to grieve and rage safely, to access your inner child and inner parent.
1st/2nd/3rd Gen Asian Folx who are willing to examine (in detail) the childhood wounds inflicted onto them by their primary caregivers for the sake of healing, grieving and raging. If you are committed to protecting and excusing your parent's behaviors, we are not a good fit. Ultimately, we are examining how systemic oppression showed up through emotionally unavailable and harsh parenting, not trying to blame shift or gossip for the sake of airing out dirty laundry.
Asian folx who are open to seeing how their own dismissiveness of their feelings, emotions and needs are a result of decades of conditioning and living under high levels of distress. You must be willing/curious to be untrusting of your own dismissiveness and potentially would be interested/curious in learning how to access your emotions, instead of avoiding it. You will be asked to sit with your difficult feelings, be called out on your dismissiveness and avoidance and will be coached through how to expand your emotional vocabulary.
Asian folx that know that they have repressed pain and rage, but don't know how to access it. They are highly motivated to access it for the sake of healing. We are not doing a cathartic type of therapy, where we release big feelings for the sake of venting, but we learn how to productively metabolize big repressed feelings so that it can be turned into metaphorical compost.
You are willing to engage not only your mind, but your body. We will be doing body practices in the form of breath work and gentle self-touch work. You are not a good fit if you seek to intellectualize and look for "a-ha's" or epiphanies. You understand that intellectual breakthroughs don't lead to growth and change. Change comes from achieving a sense of safety and trust in your body, in order to do something different and uncomfortable everyday.
This is not for....
People who are looking for quick fixes or short term therapy (anything less than a year)
People who are looking to use their insurance to supplement the cost of therapy. Weekly therapy sessions are $350 per 50 minute session. I can provide super bills for you to submit to your insurance carrier if you have out of network benefits.
People who are looking for sliding scale slots. I don't have any at this moment.
Asian Folx who want to intellectualize and over analyze the past. We are not going to stay in the thoughts channel, but going to tap into the feelings and sensations channel too.
People who are looking to meet bi monthly or once a month. I only see people weekly.
People who are looking for in person meetings. I only see people virtually.
People who live outside of the state of Washington. If you live outside the state of Washington, but want to work with me, consider joining my group coaching program at The Unburnout Strategy.
People who want their therapist to "fix" them or "rescue" them. Therapists can provide a framework, but the work will be up to you to implement.
Babies, children, adolescents, teens, or families.
People who primarily struggle with: OCD, insomnia/sleep disorders, substance use, eating disorders, psychosis, or actively struggle with suicidal/homicidal ideation. Due to the nature of my small practice, I am unable to accommodate folx who are in crisis. If you struggle with some of the above symptoms, you are welcome to work with me if you have other means of supporting yourself, whether it's with another therapist or coach.
People who want to be seen during evenings and weekends. I only see clients Mon-Wed from 6am till 1pm.
WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS FOR NOT USING INSURANCE?
To protect your confidentiality
No limit to how many sessions you can attend
No clinical diagnosis on your medical record
More choices for therapist based on your fit
Ability to continue with your current therapist even if you lose insurance or change insurance/jobs
When a mental health diagnosis is filed on your record, it is considered a pre-existing condition. In the future, this could potentially increase the costs of your insurance or prevent you from getting coverage altogether.
There is no limit for amount of sessions. With the use of insurance, there is sometimes a limit for number of sessions covered.
WHAT IS A GOOD FAITH ESTIMATE?
Beginning January 1, 2022, federal law requires health care practitioners to provide current and potential clients who don’t have insurance or who are not using insurance a “Good Faith Estimate” (GFE) on the cost of treatment.
This new law is designed to provide transparency to clients regarding their expected medical expenses and to protect them from surprises when they receive their medical bills.
While it is not possible for a therapist to know, in advance, how many therapy sessions may be necessary or appropriate for a given person, this form provides an estimate of the cost of services provided.
I expect treatment will require continued weekly or bi-weekly sessions
continuing through the end of the year, at $350 per session for a total of 48 weeks, accounting for vacations and holidays for an estimated total of $16,800 (weekly sessions).
WHAT ARE YOUR RIGHTS WITH THE GOOD FAITH ESTIMATE?
You have the right to receive a GFE for the total expected cost of any non-emergency healthcare services, including therapy services.
You can ask your healthcare provider, and any other provider you choose, for a GFE before you schedule a service.
You have the right to initiate the client–provider dispute resolution process if the charges you are actually billed substantially exceed the expected charges in this estimate (at least $400 more than your GFE).
You are entitled to disagree with any recommendations made to you concerning your treatment and you may discontinue treatment at any time.
Make sure to save a copy of your GFE or take a photo of it.
This estimate of costs is not a contract and does not obligate you to obtain clinical services from your provider.
For questions or more information about your right to a Good Faith Estimate, visit www.cms.gov/nosurprises or call 1- 800-985-3059.