Violence and oppression
I’m angry. I’m grieving. I’m deeply saddened by what’s going on in Israel and Palestine. I don’t fully understand. But I know my anger...
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Accepting new clients living in WA and FL. Click here to get started.
I teach individuals how to break harmful intergenerational cycles and be human again.
Therapy for Couples, Relationships, Situationships, Trauma, Depression, Self Worth, Perinatal Care & Cultural Identity.
All are humans with varying identities are welcome in my 100% virtual practice, particularly those who identify as QTBIPOC living in Washington, Florida and Oregon.
Hey hey there,
Shh... I've got a little confession to make.
I have been a mental health therapist and life coach for a good long while. I've managed a BIPOC healing collective and coaching practice, property management with short and long term rentals . and practicing liberation centered unschooling with 3 kiddos. And since 2013, I've been in private practice helping lots of folx of the Asian Diaspora heal from complex trauma.
It wasn't until this year that I've realized that I had the capacity to reflect on what I've been really trying to do with all my clients, family and myself.
I don't feel a strong sense of certainty with many things in the world, but what I do know is that my biggest accomplishment isn't the money I've made or anything related to my children or my businesses, it is:
Embracing being an outlier by embodying rest and being at home in my body as the foundation of my life and business.
The most consistent feedback I get from my clients is, "You teach people how to heal from complex trauma, but you really teach people how to find a deep sense of belonging in yourself."
Consider this an invitation from me to you. Consider this an invitation for me to walk you home to yourself. This is the biggest honor and privilege that I have in my work as a human being on earth.
Welcome home.
When you are safe in your body, you have unconditional belonging and safety.
You can take your shoes off, wear your comfiest lounge clothes, cook whatever meals you want, move the furniture around, declutter and decorate to your heart's liking.
You can have this freedom in your relationships too. You get to have it in:
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The way you share about what restaurants you want to eat at with your friends
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The way you share about your sexual/gender identities with your family
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The way you relate to your family of origin by opting in or out of family gatherings
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The way you share about your unconventional job choices, even if it goes against the grain of others expectations
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The way you choose your inner circle of friends
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The way you earn, spend, save and give your money, time and energy
Having this freedom to live according to your values is not a luxury, but a necessity. If you care, even just a little, about the well being of your body and spirit...
...and if you care about making the most powerful impact you can on this world and beyond....
...if you care about being a good ancestor to your future descendants...
...if you care about liberation for yourself and your fellow human siblings...
There is no place from which you can have a bigger impact and contribution other than a place of unapologetically prioritizing your own needs. PERIOD.
This is the invisible golden thread beneath everything that I've ever taught.
This is my centering principle. This is my grounding foundation.
This is the focal point of everything that I have and will continue to teach. It is the basis of my spiritual, personal and professional work. this is the principle guiding every single decision of mine.
I can't think of anything more impactful to teach you.
Here's what being at home with myself in my relationships has allowed me to do over the years:
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become a fugitive from tiger parenting culture, opt out of hustle and grind culture in my family and embrace rest and curiosity by unschooling my 3 kids.
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run many businesses that create beautiful income for me and my family, while smashing labels or boxes that anyone has attempted to put on it
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leave my evangelical church community and come out as a queer pansexual non binary neurodivergent (autistic/adhd) human after living closeted for many years
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give myself the freedom to epically disappoint people that I love and care about (my partner, kids, Asian elders, mentors) without diving into the dark hole of shame
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give myself the freedom to move freely within and between businesses based on deep alignment with my values
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create a body of work that continues to evolve and gathers more aligned humans year after year
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gather a community of chosen family, who understand and embrace my "outlier-ness" and continue to support me no matter what
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live out my commitments to my values, while embracing my fear of scarcity-- whether it's in the form of speaking out on topics that bring truth to shameful and taboo cultural Asian norms or creating equitable pricing systems.
We are not all the same.
Your relationships, prioritizes and values are different. How you impact the world with your divinity will be different than my methodology.
I want to equip you with the practices to find YOUR way home to yourself.
All things considered, embracing your humanity and your outlier-ness isn't actually that hard or rare.
People do it everyday through having a combination of their abilities/disabilities, power and privilege, support from community, basic life skills, luck and some personal investment and work.
But you know what is RARE? Having relationships that:
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are mutually reciprocal
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you don't burn out from year after year, decade after decades
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has room for YOUR humanity, needs and desires to evolve again and again
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is fiercely aligned with your ever-changing values
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leaves a legacy that brings liberation to the world
THIS IS RARE.
Rare doesn't mean hard. It is less hard when we do this work together.
Here's everything we'll be diving into:
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partnering with our nervous system to guide our professional and personal life
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how to safely be still and silent with yourself
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how to slow down without overwhelming your body
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how to sit with internal discomfort
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how to look inward and prioritize your own needs while continuing to caretake for others
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cultivating IDGAF (I don't give a f*ck energy)
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welcoming all the different parts of yourself and seeing yourself as a multidimensional human being versus one dimensional objectified human do-er
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letting your emotions/parts share their beliefs, stories and messages
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cultivating your intuition and higher self energy
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resting as a human right and work strategy
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cultivating relationships with time, energy, money and your work
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how to move through deep grief and crises, while having roles that we can't opt out of, like being a parent or working professional
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doing away with white washed professional culture and drawing out the "real you"
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creating space for what is repulsive and non capitalism/white supremacy friendly, ugly, not acceptable, ragey, angry, disgusting and taboo, shame-filled, unpresentable, scary-as-hell, deathly, violent and creating a home for them inside of you that is safe to be in relationship with.
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bringing your body wisdom into your professional and personal relationships
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cultivating curiosity about living as an outlier
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normalizing death and grief in everyday life
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embracing seasonality and rhythms of rest and death as well as work and abundance
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grappling with the dark sides of oppression and the impact of white body supremacy on our bodies
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challenging forces that tell us to assimilate and demand that we look outward at the expense of our own well being
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examining our attachment wounds and the impact of those wounds on our relationships
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examine inner dissonance that keeps us stuck in procrastination mode with our businesses and personal relationships
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recognize parts that are complicit with hustle culture, burnout culture, assimilation, and want acceptance from authorities, so that we can help them release patterns that run your body into the ground
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compassionately become aware of parts that don't like boundaries and befriend them so that you can reclaim at least 5 hours of your free time back.
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empathetically befriend parts that keep you playing small, invisible and are complicit with white washed professionalism so you could show up more authentically
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approach the parts of you that are fat phobic, ablest, classist, anti- black, judgmental, critical and trans phobic. Help them be fully heard so they don't overwhelm your system and flood you and your activism with their messages of hate. Personally, this has been formative in my personal activism and advocacy work. INHO, these are the parts that are important to work on as Asian folx in our relationship building.
Slowing down requires a set of skills. You can develop a fluency in them.
When you are fluent in them, here's what happens:
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you are no longer tempted to look outward for authority figures to tell you what to do with your life
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you feel grounded by your internal anchors that does not bend to fear or scarcity, flattery from people that don't have your best interest at heart, greed and a desire to hoard more resources at the cost of yourself or others
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you draw people close to you who trust you because of your integrity and being in right relationship with yourself
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you are able to accept the courageousness to make hard decisions to dismantle oppressive systems in your relationships and professional life, whether it be through leaving coercive relationships, declaring your truth fearlessly or creating equitable practices in your workplace structures
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create a sustainable living that supports a life for yourself and your loved ones
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AND create a legacy of liberation for your future spiritual, cultural and/or familial descendants
This work is for you, whether you are an activist, artist, coach, writer, mental health therapist, sex worker, internal medicine doctor, healer, spiritual director, community organizer, or executive director.
This work is for all of us.
Sovereignty and Self Leadership
Sovereignty is a birth right.
Sovereignty means having an innate right to self-governance and autonomy over your own internal system.
You are uniquely born with an internal system made up of parts. Your parts will guide your decisions, whether you partner with it or not. Systems of oppression has taught us that partnering with our body is dangerous and scary. A huge part of my teaching is going inward partnering with yourself. This is 90% of the work.
Sovereignty is a deep value in healing work. Every individual has the right to govern their own internal system. Every person's body is composed of different parts forming an orchestra and creating beautiful music.
Healing work involves a respect for autonomy. Each part of you has it's own perspective, beliefs, fears, desires, hopes, dreams. Partnering with our parts means that we respect and trust each part's autonomy. Through respecting and trusting each of your parts, you build self trust and safety within yourself, which ultimately leads to healing and internal harmony.
Divesting from scripts of how you "should be" and stepping into your chosen values and commitments is the heart of the inner work.
Maybe you've been told from your culture, society, religion, familial conditioning that you should "be obedient, compliant, agreeable and hardworking."
Or "work hard and try your best. Don't quit no matter what"
Or "be others centered, think of other people, always. don't be selfish. Be professional." (aka, act pleasing towards the "white man")
Or "make lots of money, forever and ever. Keep growing professionally. Work hard and be unstoppable in your achievements. Your achievements define you."
We get to decide how we move through the world. We get to decide what our chosen values are. We get to decide how we want to define ourselves.
You get to decide:
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who gets to be in your inner circle
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what your definition of beauty and sexuality is
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how many naps you are going to give yourself per day
You get to decide how you want to carry out your ideas of congruence in your life. We will work together to build your capacity to deepen your commitments to your values, while taking very good care of your needs.
Self Leadership
Self leadership is the practice of sovereignty over our own bodies.
Self leadership means that we get to be in charge of our inner world in a way that aligns with our values, goals and well-being.
Connectedness to ourselves and others is one of the major losses from white body supremacy culture. White supremacy culture states that we don't have any entitlement over our own bodies, but others do. Others get to determine what is right, wrong, ugly, beautiful and it is obvious when we fall out of line.
Self leadership begins with an understanding that we have a "Self". To recognize that we are all born with an essence of goodness within us. That essence is untouched by trauma or pain. It is unique to everyone of us and is unconditionally compassionate, whole and wise. Your higher "Self" or core Self is not all knowing, but has the ability to make thoughtful, well informed decision, it considers your values, environment and relationships. It makes choices that align with your long term goals.
Emotional regulation is when the Self is able to be in relationship with parts of you that might be activated and triggered. Self-regulation means your higher Self extending compassionate curiosity and openness to your parts.
When Self is the leaders, it becomes the guide/mentor/parent that you never had. It listens and understands the needs of various parts. It knows how to create a safe space for your parts to express themselves without fear or judgment.
Sovereignty is the WHAT. Self Leadership is the HOW.
My practice offers a tiered, class-equitable, pay-what-supports-you pricing.
My model is inspired by the Green Bottle Model from Worts + Cunning
This pricing structure is reflective of the cost per 50 minute session per individual/couple and for folx that are cash pay only. If you are using your out of network benefits, please consider using the upper or middle tier.
Please keep in mind that if you opt into a lower price, when you can truly afford a higher price, you are limiting access to those who truly need the gift of financial flexibility. If participating in therapy means making short term sacrifices, having to get creative or asking others for support and does not actually jeopardize your safety, we ask you to use those resources before using the sliding scale. This will limit opportunities for others. Being honest and taking the time to explore your options financially helps us grow in this healing work together.
I currently have limited virtual openings for individuals living in the State of Washington, Florida and Oregon. Preference will be given to those who are specifically interested in IFS therapy, but open to those who want a more "traditional" approach to talk therapy. All sessions are offered virtually and on a weekly basis (no monthly or bi monthly options are available).
How to Start Therapy
1 / Review my Website and FAQs
Look over my FAQ carefully. It will answer some of your questions. My current openings for weekly sessions are:
Mondays- 11am
Tuesdays- 8am, 9am, 10am
Wednesdays- 10am, 2pm
I do not accept insurance, but do accept HSA, FSA payments. I will also send you a superbill for possible reimbursement. I have no sliding scale slots available at this time. 50 minute sessions costs $240.
If you still have questions, email Angela@Angelatam.net
Or for a quicker response, text me at 206.203.2355
Note: Contact with me via email or phone does not constitute a therapeutic relationship. Our therapeutic relationship begins when we both agree to proceed with therapy and all paperwork is signed.
2 / Schedule your first therapy session and complete your paperwork
Here is the link for scheduling your first session
Electronic paperwork will be sent to you to sign and fill out within 24 hours.
This includes:
1) Informed Consent
2) Telehealth Consent and Audio Only Billing Consent
3) HIPAA & Washington State Notice Of Rights & Privacy Practices
4) Credit Card Authorization
5) Intake Questionnaire (30-40minutes)
6) Social Media and Electronic Communication Policy
7) Emergency Contact Form
3 / Begin Therapy
We will use a HIPAA compliant platform. We will learn about you, your frustrations and goals. We will also talk about a plan for your time in therapy. In addition, we will talk about what it looks like to end therapy.
First Session:
The goal of the first session is for you to be witnessed in your pain, to understand what is happening and for you to feel hopeful about your potential growth.
Workable Contract:
By the 2nd/3rd session, you will have a better idea of of what to expect as we work together. We will put together a workable contract of your overarching goals, ways to work towards your goals and barriers, as well as getting to know when you will know how you will be finished with therapy.
Practice/Work:
I will provide you with some education, skills/tools, encourage you to try to relate to yourself and others in a different way, optional homework, and provide you with ideas to manage the general overwhelm. I may send you some external resources like book/podcast recommendations too.
Feedback:
I encourage clients to give me verbal feedback regularly so that my practice can be adjusted more towards your needs and concerns and values. You are also welcome to send me written feedback as well.
Ending Therapy:
Some clients benefit from brief therapy (1-4 sessions), or short term therapy (<6months) for a single issue. Some folx come with a complex issue that requires more long term work (12months-3years). We will end therapy when your workable contract (goals) have been met, symptoms are improving or whenever you feel like therapy with me isn't helping anymore.
Referrals:
Some clients pause therapy for a while and decide to come back due to changes in their life. If that's the case, please email me and we can always restart our sessions, if I have availability. Any anytime, if we are not compatible or have needs that is beyond the scope of my expertise, I will share some referrals with you for other specialists that can help.
Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Masters in Counseling Psychology (LH60907817)
IFS Level 1 trained Therapist
PACT Level 1 trained Relational Therapist
Somatic Experience Advanced Level Practitioner
Trauma Informed Relationship Coach and Therapist
WA State Approved Supervisor for Licensed Associates (LMHCA)
Pronouns: She/they
I am a former NYC native, who now lives in Seattle. I have been a mental health therapist for over 10 years and love working together with folx to find the root causes of your struggles alongside teaching strategies to help with coping with pain and overwhelm.
I use many different modalities of healing, such as Somatic Experiencing, attachment based work, but mainly practice from an Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework. I believe that deep transformation happens when your therapist is able to compassionately hold space for all parts of you, even the parts that you seek to forget or push away. When they reflect back to you and mirror your experience, it creates capacity for you to move outside of your comfort zone to take risks.
Having 3 children has taught me to slow down significantly. My parenting journey has caused me to enter into a serious self-inquiry process, filled with a lot of unlearning and spaciousness to re-parent myself and my inner children.
Blog
Videos
Read through my website and look at my videos to see if were a good fit. These videos were made for my coaching practice, but there are a lot common themes
Angela Tam
Angela Tam
