EMBODY YOUR INNER BADASS
through radical self acceptance and self love
You wake up in the morning and it hits you like a truck.
The non-stop voices that say:
You’re not good enough
You’re a terribly mommy
You’re too fat. Too skinny. Not pretty….
You’re an imposter at work. You’ll never get promoted because you’re not smart enough.
Even if you switch jobs, partners, etc, the message is still the same.
YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORSE CRITIC. YOU DON’T EVEN LIKE YOURSELF.
AND THEN THE GUILT.......
GUILTY FOR EVEN FEELING THIS WAY BECAUSE OTHERS HAVE IT WORSE THAN YOU…
YOU’RE SO “PRIVILEGED” SO YOU DON’T HAVE A “RIGHT” TO COMPLAIN….
GUILTY FOR NOT BEING ENOUGH…
GUILTY FOR NOT BEING HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE…
GUILTY FOR NOT SPENDING ENOUGH TIME WITH YOUR KIDS
GUILTY FOR NOT FOLDING THAT BIG PILE OF LAUNDRY
You seem put together on the outside, but shit is funky on the inside. Your inner critic runs the show and she don't give a shit about your feelings.
You're beyond burned out. Like to a crisp. Toasted brown/black on the edges. Self care? WTF is that?
You're scrolling on social media and hear yourself saying "AW SHIT, WTF is my problem? Why do other moms have it together and I don't?" The comparison trap is real.......
You are too hard on yourself. Even your kids tell you to "take it easy"
You are tightly wound up. You run a tight ship. So tight that theres no room to make messes.
You are hard on yourself but maybe you have a "weak spot" and are permissive with your boss or kids.
You feel burnt out and disconnected:
Since being parent, things that kept you connected to yourself and others no longer work
You constantly feel guilty for not "momming" enough or not being a good enough friend to others
You find yourself feeling frustrated because you have no time or energy to take care of yourself because you are so busy taking care of other people
You find yourself lost in rage and unable to express it to anyone because you don't want to burden others with your troubles.
You feel DIFFERENT than other moms:
You feel isolated as a mom and ashamed that other moms don't have the same struggles as you.
You struggle with asking and receiving help.
You fantasize about running away temporarily because the responsibilities are WAY. TOO. MUCH.
not bullying yourself anymore
being able to say "no" to your kids about not buying them the Nintendo switch and not feeling guilty about it AT ALL.
not second guessing yourself
not wanting to compare yourself to other Beckys on social media because you own your bad-ass-bitchery and feel confident in your own skin.
being super confident because you know your shit at work and a proud to show off your skills.
waking up in the morning and being like.... I GOT THIS. I AM A BADASS BITCH.
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Licensure Supervisor for Associates
I help people:
love themselves again
find their voice
stop comparing themselves to other women
unconditionally accept themselves
not be so mean to themselves and to embody the bad ass bitches that they are!!!
AM I BROKEN????
Colonization fucked things up.
Colonization led to supremacy and capitalism.
supremacy and capitalism lead to trauma in our collective bodies.
supremacy and capitalism is ultimately the source of all of our trauma
trauma can be a really big scary event such as a car crash, natural disaster or assualt
trauma can be something that happened on an ongoing basis such as emotional neglect or abandonment
trauma can be persistent and pervasive, such as racialized trauma
trauma can happen as a result of immigration, big transitions, break ups, general fuck ups.
WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT IN THERAPY?
There is no magic wand, but I can help.
YOU CAN BE KIND TO YOURSELF
You will learn how to speak to yourself with love and respect. R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!!
YOU CAN EXPECT TO BE SELF CONFIDENT
Confidence comes from doing hard things. I will challenge you to do hard things for yourself.... like speak up for yourself and assert your needs and desires. Of course, you won't do it on your own. You will have ME as your companion!
YOU WILL LEARN EMOTIONAL REGULATION
Warren G isn't the only one that can regulate. We will regulate the shit talking that you do in your mind and learn how to redirect that energy into something more productive.
YOU WILL LEARN ABOUT HEALTHY AGGRESSION
People pleasing is so yesterday. So is being passive aggressive or aggressive or passive. That shit is so dated and dysfunctional. We are going to learn to embody your inner feline and learn to be a bad ass bitch.
YOU CAN TAKE OWNERSHIP OF YOU
You are can own your strengths, weaknesses, desires, needs, fears, hopes and BOUNDARIES. You will feel ENOUGH.
YOU WILL BE IN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
You will learn how to find safe relationships in brave spaces and not settle for anything dysfunctional.
Disclaimer: I am not promising anything. This work involves a lot of time, energy, (money) and commitment on your part. It is your responsibility to show up for you. It is your responsibility to do "the reps" every single day. I can promise you this: I am committed to showing up for you. No matter what.
WTF IS SOMATIC THERAPY?
Somatic therapy in a nutshell
Trauma gets trapped in our bodies
Theory- trauma gets trapped in our body and it needs to be "shaken off"
Body needs to be involved in processing trauma. We use the SIBAM framework to do it. SIBAM stands for sensation, imagery, behavior, affect and meaning).
We take time to learn about your background and personal history. We learn about your default responses to trauma: fight, flight, fawn or freeze.
move into a different pattern
we will explore ways for you to move into a different pattern if your default pattern is not working. if you have learned to fawn, or people please, we will become familiar with the experience of moving into a different mode, such as flight, or fight (healthy aggression).
WHAT DOES SOMATIC LOOK LIKE DAY TO DAY AND WEEK TO WEEK?
this is a non linear process and is not rigid or unidirectional or prescriptive. I don't give out "homework" in the traditional sense, but will have people observe their patterns in between sessions
ESTABLISHING RELATIONAL SAFETY
This is the foundation of the work. If you don't feel safe and supported, its gonna be hard to take risks and to be vulnerable.
We will take time to examine your background, trauma history, generational patterns, family of origin dynamics and personality displays.
We will tap into your goals and intentions. We will identify key points of motivation. What drives you to wake up every day? What do you want out of our time together? If you don't know the answers yet, no worries. We will spend time exploring. By the time we are done, you will know what you want.
We will use the SIBAM (Sensations, Images, Behavior, Affect, Movement) to connect to our body.
sensations- experiences that are felt in the body level through tightness, constriction, comfort, pleasure, flow, etc
imagery- using the imagination to form a picture of something
behavior- body language, posture, breathing, facial expressions, word choices, tone, speed, and pressure of speech
Going back and forth between contraction and expansion. Trauma and resourcing. This builds capacity for change. This is the bread and butter of the work.
Slowing things down. Trauma is anything that is "too much, too fast and too soon." When we slow things down, we can notice what body sensations are coming up, hidden resources, and our body will move towards completion of protective responses.
IDENTIFYING DEFAULT PATTERNS
What is your default pattern that you are locked into?
fight- anger, rage, combative
flight- holding secrets, ghosting, isolation, and lying
freeze- collapse, confusion, fainting, slow speech, disassociation, being stuck, indecisive, procrastination
fawn- people pleasing, camouflage, appeasing others, being nice, always thinking of others first, putting other peoples needs before yours.
MOVING INTO A DIFFERENT RESPONSE
If you are constantly in:
fight- the work is gently guiding the rage-filled energy and discharging it through your body instead of projecting it onto loved ones or absorbing it into your body
flight- learning to not keep secrets, or lie or ghost as a defense mechanism.
freeze- inviting safe people into your life to have regular check ins to unthaw the freeze or stuckness
fawn- inviting healthy aggression and practicing titrating one's biggest fears....disappointing loved ones.
Uncoupling fear with the defense mechanisms. Coupling empowerment, radical self love and acceptance and worthiness with new defense mechanisms.
RESOURCING AND GROUNDING
Our bodies are wired to look at the negative things. Resourcing is the practice of observing goodness and safety around us and in us. When we teach our nervous system that it can always return to a place of safety, then can easily down regulate when it is in a state of distress. I will guide you through that process until you can do it for yourself.