Therapy for High Conflict Couples in Crisis Anywhere in Washington

I’ve got you covered. I’m in your corner.

Divorce has been discussed

One or both of you have mentioned divorce. That seems be the only thing you are looking forward to these days. Divorce is a fantasy to escape to when you are stuck in endless fights. Fights that leave you feeling blamed, accused, misunderstood or so plain tired. Maybe you’re sleeping in different rooms, living in different worlds, and weekly therapy can’t meet this level of urgency. A decision is approaching and you want to act from clarity, not from crisis.

My Approach

I'm not going to pretend I only understand this work from the outside.

I know what it feels like when love cools into numbness. When numbness hardens into rage. When rage settles into something that feels permanent — a kind of despising you never imagined you were capable of, especially toward someone your children adore. I know the particular guilt of that. The way it sits in your chest when your kids run to your spouse and you're standing there feeling like a stranger in your own family.

I did the work. Ten years of it — slow, nonlinear, unglamorous weekly therapy. And what came out the other side is a marriage I wouldn't have recognized from the floor of the worst of it. We're genuinely close now. We're each other's first call. I don't say that to sell you a fairytale. I say it because I need you to know that I'm not asking you to hope for something I haven't seen with my own eyes.

What turned it wasn't a breakthrough moment. It was the decision — made separately, by two people — to stop waiting for the other person to change first. That radical inward turn is the hardest thing I'll ever ask of you. It's also the only thing that actually works.

In the room, I'm warm and I'm direct. I'm not here to referee or keep the peace. I want to see the real shape of your relationship — including the parts that are hard to show a stranger. You don't have to prove yourself here, or win me over to your side. You just have to be willing to be honest.

I can hold whatever you bring. That's not a performance — it's the result of doing this work on myself, and with couples who were just as far gone as you might feel right now.

The problem isn't your partner. It’s not entirely you either.

Most couples arrive focused on their partner's behavior. What they leave with is something harder to come by — genuine curiosity about themselves.

The conflict cycle you keep repeating isn't the problem. It's the portal. Inside it is every unfinished piece of personal history that never got resolved, now living in the space between you. What's on the other side is real compassion — for yourself, and eventually for each other.

What this asks of you isn't easy. You'll need to set down your pride and take radical responsibility for your part — not after your partner goes first, but regardless. Most couples underestimate how much that costs.

Here's what I tell almost everyone: nobody is only a victim of their relationship. Everyone contributes a gift. Everyone also contributes to the dysfunction. That's not blame — it's actually the most hopeful thing I can offer you.

Something shifts when you finally see your life — and your relationship — without the fog of blame and fear. That clarity is what we're building toward.

Credentials